


let the song forgive the singer

by littlesaintmick



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, character......study?, i'ts basically just jeremiah valeska's big gay coming out story if i'm being real with myself, more characters tags probably added later, oh man what to tag this as, possible jerome antics in the later bits, selina and jeremiah would be good friends if no one had gone crazy lbr, the usual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24557752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesaintmick/pseuds/littlesaintmick
Summary: (title from 'permanent' off of seeming's upcoming album: the birdwatcher's guide to atrocity)jerome's plan with the insanity gas fails, jeremiah finds his way to a better freedom because of it.
Relationships: Jeremiah Valeska/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	let the song forgive the singer

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys idk if i know what this is but here you go. the first chapter is this long because i couldn't figure out how to structure the damn thing

Jeremiah wasn’t happy to be back in his bunker. It used to be the place he felt safest, the place where he knew no one could get him, the place where he knew Jerome couldn’t get to him. 

He supposed it was his own fault. He brought Jerome to the bunker, and if he hadn’t, then his brother’s acquaintances wouldn’t have found them, released Jerome, and none of this would have happened. He had to put the blame on himself as much as he could put it on Jerome. 

He also supposed...that was really exemplary of their whole lives. Sometimes he felt guilty about how things went with his brother. Jeremiah did love him, once. When they were kids. His guilt didn’t necessarily come from how Jerome went out, but it came from...he had been afraid of him. He’d been terrified of Jerome, and some of that came from knowing that Jerome is what he could have been, and that Jerome was sometimes everything Jeremiah wanted to be. 

Jerome was never a shut-in. He was never afraid. He was loud and did whatever he wanted and he was so, so much freer than Jeremiah had ever been.

Jeremiah looked at his desk. There was a package there, beautifully wrapped. He grabbed the note on it-it was from Wayne Enterprises. 

There was a flood of feelings at that. 

Bruce Wayne...he was something else. Something new. Jeremiah had never met anyone like Bruce before, someone who was so honest and clear and he was beautiful. Jeremiah had felt that immediately upon seeing him for the first time; he had sharp features and deep eyes and an intensity about him that set something off in Jeremiah. Bruce was smart, and strong, and Jeremiah wanted-

He pulled out his phone and dialed Bruce’s number-they’d exchanged numbers earlier, once things had calmed down and Bruce and his butler had given Jeremiah a ride back to the maze. The car ride had felt far too intimate for having known Bruce for such a short time. Jeremiah had had to control himself-he didn’t necessarily like feeling attraction to people, it made him feel less in control of himself, it made him feel unfocused. But he couldn’t help it with Bruce. He couldn’t help but think about him. The gift only put him more on Jeremiah’s mind. 

‘Hello?’

“Hello, Bruce.”

‘Oh-Jeremiah, good evening.’

“Good evening. I just wanted to call and thank you for the gift.”

There was a pause.

‘What gift?’

Jeremiah frowned. 

“The gift on my desk, from Wayne Enterprises.”

‘Jeremiah-Wayne Enterprises didn’t send you anything. I would know-’

Jeremiah moved to the other side of the room, immediately taking his hands away from the box. 

“What? How did it-”

‘Jeremiah, grab anything important and get out of the bunker. Alfred and I will be there as soon as possible, do not touch the gift-’

“I-I think it’s from Jerome-I-he’s not-he’s not dead-he’s not-”

‘No, Jeremiah-Jeremiah, listen to me-Jerome is gone. Even if it is from him, he is dead and gone and he can’t get you. Get out of the bunker. We’ll have the police take the gift, but it’s important that you stay calm and get out, okay? Please do that.’

Jeremiah took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his panic-Jerome was dead. He knew that. He knew that. He trusted Bruce.

He trusted Bruce.

Jeremiah gathered all of his things-backups of files and plans and everything he was working on, along with any personal belongings, his clothes, there wasn’t much of that, though. He locked up the bunker and left, standing outside, waiting for Bruce. 

The cool night air helped. He didn’t panic as much as he thought he would when he saw headlights, and then Bruce was running towards him. He grabbed Jeremiah’s arms, looking intently over his face.

“Are you alright? You didn’t touch the gift or open it, did you?”

Jeremiah shook his head. 

“No-I left it on the desk, where it was-I-I-if it wasn’t you, it must have been Jerome-I don’t know what it could be-”

“We’ll find out, I promise. Some detectives are on their way to get it, do you have a map for the maze that they can follow?”

Jeremiah retrieved a map from the papers he’d taken with him, and he and Bruce waited for the detectives. Jeremiah was still shaking, until Bruce gently held one of his hands between his. He looked at Bruce to see a soft, heretofore unknown look on his face. No one had ever looked at Jeremiah like that. 

“Jeremiah, you’re safe now. I promise. I...was going to offer that-would you like to stay at Wayne Manor? At least for a while.”

“I-I don’t want to intrude-”

“You won’t be. I want-I’d like for you to stay there.”

“You’ve barely known me for two days.”

“True, but…”

Bruce ducked his head down, looking up at Jeremiah through long, dark lashes. 

“I...have to admit-I find you very-interesting, and you’re clearly very intelligent-I’d like to get to know you more, and you would be safe with me-at the Manor.”

Jeremiah swallowed, but he nodded in agreement. He felt like he was being clouded by feelings for Bruce, but in the moment...he gave in. 

\---

“This will be your room. It’s close to mine, because...I thought it might be comforting to have someone-near. I’m sorry if that was presumptuous.”

Jeremiah turned to face Bruce, smiling just a bit. It was as much as he could muster at the moment. 

“You presumed right. I don’t-feel like-I try to stay away from other people, but-I don’t want to be alone now.”

The ‘gift’ had contained a trap for Jeremiah, with some version of the insanity gas, and a message saying it had been particularly formulated for Jeremiah. Which had led to a five-hour panic attack on Jeremiah’s part, Bruce being the only thing that could even mildly calm him down. They’d gone home after the police station-and Wayne Manor was home, for now. Jeremiah sighed and pulled his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose and still trying his best to stay calm. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Jeremiah exhaled heavily. 

“Is there a shower I can use?”

“Yes, there’s a bathroom attached. I had Alfred stock it with towels and everything you’d need earlier.”

“Thank you. For-”

Jeremiah had to stop for a second at the sight of Bruce, looking back at him, those sharp features softened, because it took Jeremiah’s breath away.

“-for all of this. Tonight, today-I-I don’t know what to do to repay you-”

Bruce actually blushed, then, in the warm light of the room. 

“You don’t have to repay me. I want to-I want to get to know you, and I want to invest in your work.”

Bruce looked at him through long lashes again and Jeremiah...was having a great deal of difficulty. 

“I’ll leave you to your shower. My room is just down the hall, if you need anything else, and feel free to ask Alfred for anything as well.”

“Thank you, again.”

Bruce left and Jeremiah went into the bathroom-it was rather luxurious, while still being understated. He looked around in the cabinets and drawers, until he came across towels and some things to wash his hair and self with. The water was easy to get to temperature, and he remembered bathing at the circus as a child, at St. Ignatius, and how unpleasant it was, how he’d avoid it-that didn’t help the social isolation, but he never particularly cared about that. He didn’t want people around him. People frightened him. 

He wondered why, as he washed the day out of his hair and off of his skin. 

It wasn’t because of Jerome, though he probably had made it worse. Jeremiah had lied as a child about the extent of what Jerome had done, but there had still been a lot of horrible things that did happen, and he’d still been a terrified and paranoid child before Jerome’s actions took effect. It didn’t even improve after leaving the circus and going through school. The bunker and maze really proved that; no one who wasn’t a terrified paranoid shut-in would go through that sort of effort. 

He did enjoy his friendship with Ecco, even if it was more of a working relationship. But she was kind and put up with his bizarre requests and needs and she was dedicated to her job. She was safe, thankfully-Jeremiah had told her to leave after Jerome’s death, for her own safety, and she was beyond capable of caring for herself anyway. 

Jeremiah felt guilty about his failed attempt to stab Jerome. Another lie. He wondered why lying was so often his immediate instinct. Maybe it was mental illness-he wasn’t as unhinged as Jerome, but he did have autism and he was schizophrenic, but unlike his brother, he had acted early and gotten it under control. He never knew what exactly went on in Jerome’s head. Sometimes he wished he did. He supposed the pathological lying was another self-defense thing, a way to try and protect himself. He thought of Bruce and didn’t want to do that anymore. 

He didn’t want to lie to Bruce. 

Jeremiah sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the cool tile of the shower. He let one hand drift down, wrapping his fingers around his cock-it had been hard since he and Bruce had spoken in the room, and he was grateful that Bruce didn’t seem to notice. If he had, he hadn’t said anything. Jeremiah thought of Bruce again, of his beautiful face and soft, thick hair, and his sweet dark eyes-Jeremiah gasped and pumped his hand back and forth, gripping himself tighter-he’d never had feelings like this for anyone, not really. He’d kissed a few men in his life, as he was sure that that’s who he was attracted to, if he was going to be attracted to anyone-but Bruce walked quietly and confidently into his life and made him feel things that he wasn’t used to feeling and didn’t necessarily want to feel, though he recognized the sexual aspect could also be in part because of the absolutely insanely stressful day he’d had. Maybe he just needed release, and if release came in the form of him imagining Bruce’s pink lips around his cock...there were worse things to imagine. 

Jeremiah stroked himself harder, feeling his abdomen tighten-it was sore, from earlier, but he ignored the aches and pains and imagined carding his fingers through Bruce’s hair, wondering if he would struggle to take Jeremiah into his throat, if he would gag and have to pull off. He thought of doing the same to Bruce and more, and the mental image of Bruce’s face as Jeremiah pushed into him was what brought Jeremiah over the edge. Jeremiah came on his hand, quietly moaning as his hips jerked a few times. He didn’t touch himself often, but it felt good to shut off his brain for a bit and just think of Bruce, of something that wasn’t horrid or terrifying. 

He finished washing up-again-and got out, a towel wrapped around his waist. He stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, and heard a knock as he was pulling on his boxers. 

“Yes?”

“May I come in?”

As if he’d ever say no to Bruce.

“Yes, please do.”

Bruce came in and Jeremiah tried to ignore the way Bruce stared at his body, a blush rising to his face-and he  _ was  _ staring, his lips parted slightly. It was a bit of a confidence booster, if Jeremiah was being honest. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face, and looked at Bruce.    
“What do you need?”

Bruce was still staring, and he blinked, shaking his head a few times. 

“Oh-I-I was wondering if-we could talk for a while? I understand if you don’t have the energy, but-”

He held out his hands. A bottle of expensive whiskey and a glass.

“I wanted to bring you this, I noticed that you were drinking something similar when we first met.”

Jeremiah huffed out a laugh. He walked up to Bruce, and Bruce’s eyes once again were trained to his body-Jeremiah knew that he was generally an attractive man, as Ecco occasionally teased him about, but he so rarely felt it. Bruce’s face was demonstrating it as a fact. 

“Thank you. I appreciate it, and-I do probably need some. I-I would love to get to know each other better, if-if that’s what you meant.”

“It is.”

Jeremiah sat on the edge of the bed, opening the whiskey and pouring himself some, taking a drink. He recognized that he might have a bit of a dependency on it, but it was controlled enough to not be a worry yet. So much of himself, he kept under control. Bruce stood, unsure, until Jeremiah gestured to the bed. 

“You can sit here, if you’d like. I think it’s big enough for both of us.”

Bruce smiled, and that made Jeremiah feel better than any alcohol could. He did sit, not too close and not too far from Jeremiah. He offered his glass to Bruce.

“Would you like some?”

“No, thank you.”

Jeremiah took another sip. 

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Anything. I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you better.”

Jeremiah got more comfortable on the bed, stretching out his legs and leaning back on the headboard, one arm behind his head, the other holding his glass. Bruce seemed to be trying to politely avert his eyes. Jeremiah was maybe going a little too far, because he knew how most people thought of lounging around in very little clothing around someone you were attracted to, but Jeremiah was balancing that knowledge with just...this was how he always slept. He never wore clothes to bed and he’d been about to go to bed when Bruce came back into his room. If Bruce asked him to cover up at any point, he would, because he wanted Bruce to be comfortable, but Bruce didn’t seem to mind, not really.

“What would you like to know?”

“What made you want to become a structural engineer?”

“I enjoy designing buildings and trying to improve them, improve infrastructure-but I actually have three other degrees. Structural engineer is just the one that currently has me employed.”

“You have three other degrees?”

“Yes. All engineering, but in total, structural, mechanical, chemical, and electrical.”

“That’s...very impressive, Jeremiah.”

Jeremiah sighed, sipping at his drink.

“Suppose it’s the benefit of being a math prodigy.”

“Prodigy?”

“That’s the word the people at St. Ignatius and my schools used. I graduated from my first degree when I was sixteen, two others at eighteen, and the last at nineteen.”

“How old are you now?”

“Twenty-three.”

“That’s...incredible.”

It was Jeremiah’s turn to blush. 

“Well...it is what it is. I never felt it was very impressive. I try to keep in mind that there are many better, smarter people than me out there.”

Bruce tilted his head. 

“What do you mean by ‘better’?”

Jeremiah opened his mouth to speak, and...didn’t. His first instinct was to lie, because of course it was, but he didn’t want to do that. Not now, not with Bruce. He wanted-he needed to be honest with him because Bruce was keeping him safe, and he couldn’t do that as well without Jeremiah’s honesty. That was a safe rationalization. 

“I-I’m not...a very...good person.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed and he leaned in just slightly closer. 

“Why do you think that?”

“Apart from being cut from the same cloth as my brother, I-I...lie. Often-a lot, and-I put Jerome on the path that led him to...what he became, and-while some of what he was was intrinsic, I can’t help but recognize my guilt in the situation.”

“I don’t believe that’s true.”

Jeremiah frowned. 

“Bruce?”

“You’re not responsible for the actions of others-I-I’ve struggled with accepting that myself. You aren’t responsible for the things Jerome did, and blaming yourself-when you were children, he tried to hurt you, didn’t he?”

The shame fell on Jeremiah like a blanket. He wanted to lie again.

“I...yes, but-I lied about the extent in order to be taken away, and that’s-that hurt him, in the end.”

“You were a child. You were trying to protect yourself.”

“Perhaps that’s true-but-it’s hard-to not feel guilty.”

“I know.”

Bruce had, at one point, gently reached out and set his hand on Jeremiah’s ankle.

“I understand that, but-it’s not healthy to hold onto such things.”

“How can I just forget what I did? How I-pushed him to that life?”

Bruce stroked his thumb over the jutting, round bone of Jeremiah’s ankle.

“We-could work on that together, if-I could help you to forget it.”   
Jeremiah didn’t always understand people, but he felt like many different things were being said here. He sat up, putting his drink on the nightstand, and moved closer to Bruce, until they were really far too close for how long they’d known each other. 

“May I ask you some questions?”

Bruce nodded, his eyes trained on Jeremiah’s chest. He looked pained, and Jeremiah looked down at himself; his ribs and midsection were bruised, but not too badly. He’d had worse. 

“I’m alright.”

“We should have taken you to see a doctor-”

“Later. Nothing is broken-I have plenty of experience with broken bones-just aching.”

Bruce looked up at Jeremiah, and Jeremiah could see him swallow. 

“Is it-presumptuous of me to say that I think there’s something you want other than talking?”

Bruce blushed a rather furious red, and looked away. 

“I-I haven’t ever-”

Jeremiah reached up and cupped Bruce’s cheek, turning his face back towards him. Maybe he hadn’t been too forward. 

“Bruce?”

“I’ve-I’m not sure what-I’ve never...been attracted to someone as quickly-as-as I’ve felt with you-”

Jeremiah trailed his hand down enough to grip Bruce’s chin. 

“Neither have I. We don’t-Bruce, we’ve known each other for-not a very long time. I don’t want-we have no reason to rush anything, if you’d like to get to know me more, before-engaging in anything with me, I would be fine with that-”

Bruce bit his lip, and that was pushing a particular button that Jeremiah didn’t know he had until that moment. 

“I-I can be rather impulsive sometimes-”

“This might not be the thing to be impulsive about.”

“Do you want-you feel the same way, though?”

“About you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Would you...really be fine with waiting?”

“Yes. I don’t want-I would hate for us to ruin anything before it started, and rushing increases that risk.”

Bruce took a deep breath and it came out shaky. 

“I’d like-to wait, on anything-sexual. I just-I think you’re-incredibly stunning-”

Jeremiah smiled, tilting Bruce’s head up just a bit. 

“I think you’re beautiful, Bruce.”

“Could...would kissing count as rushing?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Have you kissed someone before?”

“I have, I’ve kissed a handful of men. Have you?”

“I’ve kissed a girl before, but-this feels...different.”

Jeremiah once again cupped Bruce’s cheek, and leaned forward until his nose bumped against Bruce’s. 

“Come here-”

Bruce leaned in that last inch and pressed their lips together, and Jeremiah’s other hand went to Bruce’s waist, holding onto him tight. It...really did feel good to kiss someone after all this time, and the fact that it was Bruce-it just made the kiss better. Bruce clearly didn’t have much experience, and something about that was endearing. Jeremiah led the kiss, gently licking at Bruce’s lips until they opened, and he explored Bruce’s mouth and let Bruce do the same. There was shyness on both their parts, but Jeremiah felt oddly comfortable kissing Bruce. He tangled his fingers in Bruce’s hair, pulling him closer, and easing him back onto the bed. Bruce gasped and whimpered, his hands nervously fluttering around Jeremiah’s waist and shoulders. Jeremiah broke the kiss, licking at Bruce’s lips-he hadn’t kissed an exceptional amount of people, but he knew a few tricks-and he looked down into Bruce’s eyes. His pupils were blown out and his cheeks were dark, and he looked somewhat dazed. 

“Was that too much?”

“N-no, I-I really don’t have a lot of-experience, in this-it’s overwhelming-”   
Jeremiah pecked Bruce on the lips and managed to smile.    
“It’s overwhelming for me, too. I don’t-I don’t have a wealth of knowledge about how to-do-this, either, and I want-I want this to be...good, for us.”

Bruce reached up, putting his arms around Jeremiah’s shoulders.

“Can we lay down together more properly?”

“Yes. Do you want-would you like to stay in here, or go to your room?”

“Do you have a preference?”

Jeremiah shook his head. Bruce bit his lip before sitting up and grabbing Jeremiah’s hand, leading him out of the room. Jeremiah just followed. He was happy to follow Bruce around. They went into Bruce’s bedroom and Jeremiah glanced around-as luxurious as everywhere else in the building, but there were more loving, lived-in touches than in the other places he’d seen. It sparked a little bit of joy in him, knowing that this was where Bruce really lived, where he slept, where he-Jeremiah stopped thinking so much about what Bruce might do in his bed, alone at night with only his thoughts and hands. They needed to move slowly, and Jeremiah wanted to do this right. He’d done so little right in his life. Bruce led him to the bed and gently directed him to sit down.    
“Make yourself comfortable. I’m going-to change my clothes.”

Jeremiah held onto Bruce’s hand and pulled him back for a moment, pulling him down into a quick, but intense kiss. Moving slowly was important, but he wanted Bruce to feel wanted. 

“Alright. I’ll be here.”

Jeremiah watched as Bruce walked into the bathroom, and he got under the thick, soft blankets on the bed. He laid down, and the pillow smelled like Bruce, and Jeremiah inhaled against it, trying to bury that scent in his memory, while ignoring his half-hard cock. He looked up when Bruce came back in the room, wearing a black t-shirt and boxers. Jeremiah had to raise an eyebrow at that.

“Bruce-are you comfortable with the both of us being this...exposed?”

Bruce sat on the bed, getting under the covers, but answering before laying down fully. 

“Yes, I...I am. Like I said-I’m inexperienced, but-I want to gain more experience. With you.”

He was clearly still very nervous, and Jeremiah smiled, pulling him close against him. It was almost dawn-the night had really gone on for so much longer than either of them wanted-and he cradled Bruce against him. He just did whatever felt right, what felt natural, and holding Bruce close, nuzzling his hair, talking sweetly and quietly to him. Bruce seemed to be enjoying himself, and those beautiful dark eyes soon started to drift closed.

“Go to sleep, Bruce. You need it.”

“Mn-so do-you-”

“I will, sweetheart.”

Jeremiah kissed Bruce again, once on his lips, and peppered kisses all over his face. He felt better than he thought he ever could after losing Jerome and the incident with the gift, here with Bruce in his arms. He laid his head down and watched as Bruce drifted off to sleep, himself following soon after.

\---

It wasn’t a peaceful sleep. He rarely got peaceful sleep. 

Jeremiah sometimes wished he was different. Wasn’t so smart, wasn’t mentally ill, wasn’t fucked up in the myriad ways he’d been fucked up over his life. It was useless to wish such things; of course he could heal to some degree, use his smarts to make things better, find ways to cope with his brain doing whatever the fuck it pleased, but none of those things would ever go away. They at least weren’t likely to. Jeremiah’s most constant useless wish was just that the dreams would stop, for at least a night. 

Though waking up with Bruce made things a little more bearable. Bruce had held him after he woke up thrashing around, screaming and crying, and Bruce had just held Jeremiah close to his chest, petting his hair and telling him quiet, comforting things. That wasn’t something Jeremiah had ever experienced before. He’d never had friends or partners or family who would care for him when he was hurt and comfort him when he was scared. Even Ecco-the closest he’d ever had to a friend-didn’t really understand his fears. But he needed this. God, he needed it-he needed to feel Bruce’s fingers in his hair, those soft lips pressing against his skin, and his beautiful voice saying his name. 

It sort of cut the awkwardness down when Alfred came into the room rather suddenly. Jeremiah flinched, frightened until he realized who it was, before he became somewhat embarrassed. He wasn’t sure what Alfred would think of this development in his and Bruce’s relationship. He managed to sit up, so that he and Bruce were in a little bit less of a compromising position. 

“Master Bruce, Master Jeremiah-good morning. Breakfast is ready, whenever you’d like to come down.”

He raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

“Shall I assume we’re going to move your things into this room, Master Jeremiah?”

Jeremiah shook his head. 

“No, no-I-”

“I think Jeremiah would like to still have his own space, yes?”

Jeremiah nodded, knowing his pale skin was showing his blush very blatantly. Alfred nodded. 

“Alright then. I’ll see you two downstairs for breakfast.”

He left then, and Bruce looked at Jeremiah, immediately grinning. 

“You’re very red right now.”

Jeremiah smiled a little bashfully. 

“I wasn’t expecting to be walked in on. He...he isn’t going to-mind us, is he?”

Bruce tilted his head, an absolutely terribly cute confused look on his face. 

“No, why would he?”

“Well, my main concern was that he wouldn’t take kindly to the psychopathic murderer’s brother being in bed with his charge after having known each other for forty-eight hours.”

Bruce laughed, a full and bright laugh and Jeremiah felt an interesting spark in his stomach at that. Bruce calmed his laugh, his own cheeks a bright pink, his hair mussed from sleep, the smile on his lips reaching his eyes-he really was beautiful.

“I-trust me, Jeremiah, I don’t think he minds. I’ve...been through stranger things.”

Bruce leaned forward a little, like he didn’t even think about the motion, and Jeremiah wanted to kiss him.

“Would you like to go down for breakfast?”

Jeremiah nodded. They looked at each other for a moment, before Jeremiah pounced and pushed Bruce to the bed, laying over him, both of them caught up in a very, very deep kiss, and Jeremiah let his hands wander just a bit, just enough to tease and let Bruce know what could happen, in the future, and Bruce’s hands-they were smaller than Jeremiah’s-went from Jeremiah’s shoulders, down his back, before grabbing at Jeremiah’s ass. That got a little jump from Jeremiah, and Bruce broke the kiss. 

“S-sorry-was that too much?”

Jeremiah laughed and pecked Bruce on the lips. 

“No, but-unexpected. I don’t mind if you want to grab me there.”

He leaned down, pressing his forehead against Bruce’s; Bruce still seemed incredibly nervous and unsure, and Jeremiah sighed, smiling and kissing Bruce’s cheek. 

“We’ll figure all of this out as we do it.”

He could feel Bruce smiling. 

“Thank you-for-being so...understanding about-this.”

“I wouldn’t be a good partner if I didn’t.”

Bruce pulled enough away to look Jeremiah in the eyes. Bruce’s eyes really were too stunning, clear and dark and currently somewhat dazed. 

“Is that-what you’d like to call...this? Us? Partners?”

Jeremiah kissed Bruce’s cheek again, wrapping his arms around him. 

“I think it would be my preferred term, yes.”

“Alright. I like it as well.”

“We really should go down for breakfast. Think your butler may get annoyed with me for keeping you.”

Bruce sighed and snuggled up against Jeremiah, and that...certainly made Jeremiah feel an array of emotions. 

“Possibly, but Alfred tends to be annoyed by most people.”

Jeremiah frowned, pressing his face against Bruce’s hair.

“Is-is he okay with this? You-being with someone, especially-myself?”

“As long as I’m making wise choices, yes, I can’t see why he wouldn’t be. And he has no reason to dislike you-just because you’re Jerome’s twin doesn’t mean that you’re like him.”

“...I’m...much more like him than I think you think I am.”

Bruce looked up at Jeremiah. 

“Come on. Let’s go down to breakfast, and we can talk there?”

It was pretty obviously a move to get Jeremiah more comfortable, and he appreciated that. Bruce really was just about the kindest person Jeremiah had ever met. He was thoughtful, even with his impulsiveness-which Jeremiah hadn’t seen yet, but he believed Bruce when he’d said it. They did finally manage to let go of each other and get dressed, and they met downstairs at the little table in the kitchen. Bruce was there before Jeremiah, and he gestured for Jeremiah to sit. 

“Alfred can make you something else, if there’s nothing here that you want-I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to ask about food preferences and allergies.”

Jeremiah blushed.    
“I...can be particular about what I eat, but not because of allergies.”

Bruce tilted his head. Jeremiah glanced away. 

“I’m-autistic, and I developed ARFID fairly young. I’ve-worked very diligently to try and increase the amount of foods I can eat, and I am comfortable being in the presence of things I can’t, but-there are some things I was never able to get down.”

“May I ask? So that we know not to prepare them?”

“Of course-uh-apples are probably the one thing I can’t-”

Jeremiah shivered. 

“I can’t really be around those, actually.”

He glanced at Bruce, and then down at the table. 

“I-when-we were young, our uncle would-if we had done something wrong, he’d either starve us or-force feed us, and-he always made me eat those, and once-I almost choked to death from it.”

He hadn’t ever told anyone that. 

“That’s a terrible thing to have gone through-saying ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t really mean anything, because...I don’t understand what you’ve been through, but-I am sorry that you were put through that sort of treatment.”

“...Thank you. I don’t-I haven’t ever told anyone about-my life, really. I’ve been lying about-I’ve been lying about a lot of things since I left the circus. I don’t-I don’t want to do that with you.”

Bruce smiled and held his hand out, and Jeremiah took it. 

“I want you to be honest with me, just like I’ll be honest with you. Not out of obligation-I want us to do well together, and I know that takes trust.”

“I’m admittedly-and probably obviously-not very trusting of others.”

Bruce’s smile didn’t waver. 

“I know. I’m hoping I can be an exception.”

Jeremiah leaned down and brought Bruce’s hand to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it. 

“I’d like to believe that you can be.”

They started to eat, Jeremiah explaining in detail what he could and couldn’t eat; ARFID really had been difficult to overcome, and he still struggled sometimes, but he knew this was one of those things he couldn’t lie about. He was willing to try new things as well, even that strange sandwich that had apparently been Bruce’s childhood favorite. Bruce actually wrote the list down, giving it to Alfred for future use. There had even been some gentle teasing from Alfred, and Jeremiah...hadn’t minded. He always had felt like he was being secretly mocked, but it felt different here. 

After breakfast, they ended up talking about work. Bruce was genuinely interested in what Jeremiah’s plans were for the power sources, in everything about them and everything else Jeremiah was doing-which was quite a bit. It was hard to turn off the part of his brain that invented things and planned things, it was hard not to imagine structures and designs and ideas. Bruce, for what it was worth, seemed to delight in that, and watched, wide-eyed, as Jeremiah explained in detail that he never got to explore with others how the power source worked and what they would need to plug Wayne Manor into one. He’d really never had this; someone to just talk to and work with who understood him, what he wanted, what his goals were-it made Jeremiah feel like Bruce might understand the other parts of him, the ones that Jeremiah had never exposed to the world, and barely exposed to his own fantasies and his own hopes. It wasn’t like working with Ecco; yes, she was a delightful person who Jeremiah had bonded with, but she was, more than anything, a security guard. She didn’t understand or care for his projects, and he didn’t fault her for that-very few people would, he didn’t expect understanding from anyone-and she rarely sat and listened to him talk. 

Bruce was just...listening to him talk. 

“Have you ever considered working for the city?”

“Occasionally, yes. Gotham has a lot of infrastructure issues, but-I don’t think city officials have any interest in changing that, unfortunately.”

Bruce looked over one of Jeremiah’s written plans. He was studying it intently, taking in all the information. 

“What’s this?”

“Defense plans for the bridges leading out of Gotham. They’re-those are extremely vulnerable spots, and from what I’ve been able to find, there’s virtually no defenses in place should someone target them.”

“I’ve never considered the bridges before.”

“Well…”

Jeremiah swallowed, not wanting to look at Bruce.

“-it’s what I would do, if I were to-target the city.”

There was a silent moment that Jeremiah would describe as ‘his own personal version of hell’.

“Have you considered-that, before?”

Jeremiah sighed. 

“Not in the sense that I have any desire to do it, no. But-having Jerome as a brother, having-knowing what he was-becoming, I couldn’t help but think-what I would do, if I were-more villainous, for lack of a better word.”

“What else have you considered?”

“Are you concerned?”

“No. Interested.”

Bruce came around the table and stood next to Jeremiah, leaning on the table. There was a little part of Jeremiah that wanted to push Bruce down on the table and have his way with him, but he restrained himself. Bruce looked at him, a plainly honest look on his face.

“You have the most brilliant mind I’ve ever encountered, Jeremiah. I want to know-what you think about, what you consider important, I-”

He blushed, and Jeremiah stepped a little closer.

“-I think you could change Gotham, and-I want to help you do that. I want-us to do that.”

Jeremiah glanced down at Bruce’s lips. 

“I-want us to do that as well.”

Bruce’s smile softened, and he pulled Jeremiah close, shyly wrapping his arms around him; Bruce wasn’t much physically smaller than Jeremiah, but he was a bit thinner and not quite as filled in, he was a touch shorter, and Jeremiah leaned down enough to kiss him. Bruce moaned almost immediately, and Jeremiah took the opportunity to properly lick at Bruce’s lips and tongue. He gripped Bruce under his thighs and lifted him onto the table, Bruce’s legs going around his waist as they kissed, and he felt Bruce’s hands gripping his jacket, pulling Jeremiah down with him. Jeremiah had never been this affectionate with anyone; he wondered if he was ‘making up for lost time’ in his own mind. Bruce broke the kiss to breathe, looking up at Jeremiah with dazed eyes. Jeremiah was really beginning to love that look. 

“O-oh, that-you’re very-very good at that-”

“I aim to please.”

“I still-I’m not saying you’ve been lying, but it’s hard to believe that you don’t have much experience.”

Jeremiah swallowed and pulled away. He crossed his arms over his chest, reaching up and pushing his glasses back up on his nose.    
“Yes, well...that’s the truth, unfortunately.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“...No, not-no. I-”

Jeremiah sat down in one of the chairs-it was comfortable, just like everything else in the house, and Jeremiah was getting used to that. He sighed and pulled his glasses off, rubbing his hand over his face.

“I...I’ve never been-out. As-as a gay man. At the circus, it-they wouldn’t have minded, but our mother would have-”

He stopped, not wanting to get into that particular detail. Favored twin or not, Lila had never really cared for him because she’d believed him to be as queer as he actually was.

“And-even when I left-I was at a Catholic school. Not exactly a place where you can-be without a lot of repression.”

Bruce came and sat on the arm of the chair, quietly listening, patient and making Jeremiah want to lie. He wasn’t going to. He was trying. 

“Do you still feel-repressed?”

Jeremiah glanced up at Bruce. 

“Yes. I-”

He tried to swallow his words before sighing, and leaning on Bruce. 

“-I was so jealous of Jerome. Not-because of the things he did, but-he was never afraid to be himself fully. I’ve always-wanted to be more and do more and-I know-I’m just as dramatic as my brother, but-I’ve never felt safe to be what I want to be. Not entirely. Even alone all those years-the idea of doing what I really wanted, alone with just my thoughts-”

He shook his head, and Bruce gently petted his hair, happy to let Jeremiah lean on him however he wanted for however long he wanted.

“Would you like to hear my thoughts, or do you need to just talk right now?”

“I’d like to hear what you think. You think I’m the most brilliant person you’ve ever met, but-I really have nothing on you, Bruce.”   
“You’re very sweet.”

Bruce continued to softly pet his hair, gently stroking his fingertips over the back of Jeremiah’s neck. God, he never realized how desperate for intimacy, not even sex, he had been his entire life. He needed this. He needed soft touching that was devoid of violence and anger. 

“I think...if you’d like to explore that part of yourself-whatever that part may be-you’re safe here. Gotham has many issues, I’ll be the first to admit it, but this city is fairly safe for queer people. And-here, is safe. You can-”

Jeremiah looked up at Bruce. 

“-you can be yourself with me. No matter what that looks like. I’ll still care very, very deeply for you and want to be with you.”

Jeremiah swallowed.    
“Even if-”

Bruce cupped Jeremiah’s cheek, smiling softly. 

“Even if anything, Jeremiah. I want us to be us together, as authentically as possible.”

Jeremiah rested his head on Bruce’s thigh, and Bruce started rubbing his neck and shoulders more properly. 

“I’ve always wanted to try-makeup, but-I’ve never been-I don’t want you to think-”

“I won’t think anything of it except how handsome you’ll look.”

That finally broke a smile out of Jeremiah, and he blushed, pressing a kiss to Bruce’s thigh. 

“Thank you. I-I want to try and be-I’ve never felt safe enough to tell anyone that. I’ve never-I want to be proud of who I am.”

“I think you will be. That takes work and time, but you deserve to be.”

\---

Bruce smiled, reaching out and grabbing Jeremiah’s hand and pulling him closer to the girl. 

“Jeremiah, this is Selina Kyle. Selina, this is Jeremiah, the boy I’ve been-telling you about.”

Bruce was smiling when he said it, and Jeremiah and Selina shook hands. 

“Hello, Miss Kyle.”

“Hi. So you’re the boyfriend?”

Jeremiah’s turn to blush. He look at Bruce and smiled-he was smiling a lot more easily now, after a few days at the Manor, a few days of what felt like the only time he’d ever been really safe in his life. 

“Uh-yes, that-we’ve been using the term ‘partner’.”

Selina rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. 

“Of course you are. That’s the nerdiest way to say it.”

She sauntered over to the couch, and Bruce sat with Jeremiah on the free space that was left-Miss Kyle had stretched her legs out and gotten comfortable. 

“I’ve wanted you two to meet since you got here, Jeremiah, but-there hadn’t really been time.”

“By ‘wanted us to meet’, he means he literally has not stopped texting me at all hours of the night and day gushing about how hot you are.”

“Selina!”   
“What! It’s true-”

She was obviously teasing Bruce, and Jeremiah looked between the two of them, trying to tamp down the little sparks of jealousy currently setting his stomach on fire.

“So-are you two friends?”

“Yes. Selina is my best friend, other than Alfred, and-we used to-”

Bruce looked at Selina. 

“Would you consider what we did ‘dating’?”

“I think dating is a little more normal than whatever we were doing. But something like that, yeah.”

“....Oh.”

Selina rolled her eyes again, but it was again in that fond, amused way.

“Don’t worry. Me and Bruce had a talk about a month ago and decided it really wasn’t what we were meant to be. I got nothing but love for the weirdo, but it’s not that kind of love.”

Jeremiah blushed rather furiously, upset with himself that he’d let his jealousy be obvious. That was ridiculous of him. Bruce could have friends and exes and-

He felt a hand on his own, and Bruce was looking at him, with those big beautiful eyes and a soft frown. 

“Jeremiah? Are you-okay?”

Jeremiah shook himself out of whatever mood he’d just put himself in.

“Yes, sorry-just-some internal chastising going on.”

Bruce looked worried, and Jeremiah sighed, leaning in and pecking him on the lips. 

“Let’s talk about that privately. I’d-like to get to know Miss Kyle some more. I-I want to know the important people in your life.”

That seemed to relax the room fully, and the three of them began to talk; Selina seemed to greatly enjoy teasing Jeremiah, but it didn’t feel malicious-not like the little voices in his head, the one that sounded like his brother especially-it felt nice, and friendly, and Jeremiah relaxed enough at one point that he could even return some of it. Alfred had come in and served them drinks-both Jeremiah and Selina were engaging in some alcohol consumption, but Bruce declined to. It really was just a nice night with his partner and someone he could almost certainly consider a friend.

At one point, he and Bruce moved to the floor, and he had his head on Bruce’s lap, and Selina was draped across the back of the couch. They may have gotten a bit tipsy. Bruce had to leave to take a call from Wayne Enterprise’s board of directors, and Jeremiah sighed. 

“Aw, don’t worry, Jer. He’s not leaving the house, you look like a dejected puppy.”

That was probably true, but Jeremiah wouldn’t admit to it. He rested his forearms and head on the couch, looking up at Selina. He blinked a few times.

“Selina?”

“Yeah?”

“You...you’re wearing makeup, correct?”

“Yeah, I usually do. Why ask?”

Jeremiah swallowed. 

“Uh-I-I’ve been...considering...trying that out. Wearing-just something small-”

Selina rolled from the top of the couch to the actual cushions surprisingly gracefully, like a cat, and grinned at him. 

“Oh my God-do you want me to teach you how to do it?”

Jeremiah blushed. 

“If...if that would be-alright, yes. I don’t-I don’t really know anyone else yet-”

“No worries, I am gonna teach you everything-”

Jeremiah laughed. He actually laughed, smiling really big and feeling like he wasn’t as stupid and repressed as he normally felt about himself. Selina was laughing too and Bruce came back in, flanked by Alfred. Both of them turned to look at Bruce, and he smiled, a little confused.    
“Did I miss anything?”

“Not really. Me and Jeremiah have a girl’s night planned.”

Bruce sat once again with Jeremiah, cuddled against him, and smiled. 

“A girl’s night?”

“Her words, not mine.”

Bruce leaned forward and kissed Jeremiah, his arms going over Jeremiah’s shoulders, and he wrapped his own arms around Bruce’s waist. 

“Uh-not that that’s not cute, but you guys have company, remember?”

They both heard Alfred huff out a laugh. 

“Now now, Miss Kyle. Let’s not interfere with young love.”

They broke the kiss and Selina poured herself and Jeremiah more whiskey, and they kept talking, late into the night. 

\---

They were at the police station when it happened. 

They’d just been picking up Jerome’s belongings-they’d been sent from Arkham to the police station and Jeremiah did want to get them, and Bruce wanted to come with him in order to support him, and Jeremiah loved him for it. He had decided to give into the absurdity of ‘love at first sight’ and accept that that’s very much what he’d experienced with Bruce. Jeremiah did love Bruce, and felt it more the more time they spent together. 

And then the police station happened, and he didn’t know quite how to explain it to Bruce. 

He didn’t do anything bad. He just revealed another lie that he’d been telling. 

Jerome’s followers stormed the station, having spotted and followed Jeremiah, and there had been an immediate standoff. He knew he’d shocked Bruce by his reaction, but-he couldn’t think of anything else to do and acted in the moment. He’d hopped up onto one of the officer’s desks, pulling his glasses off and pushing his hair back, addressing Jerome’s followers while they and the police held guns at each other, ready and poised to shoot. He knew he was good at many things, but something that very few people knew he was good at was acting. And he was  _ very  _ good at impersonating his brother.

“Now what is this terrible menagerie doing here? Huh?”

Jerome’s followers looked at him like they looked at Jerome. A few of them cheered. 

“We’re here for you! Jerome wanted us to follow you now!”

“Did he now? He must have told some of you about his little parting gift that was left to me. Must be exciting for you.”

He hopped down, walking up to one of the ones who’d led the group into the police station. Jeremiah wasn’t as tall as him, but the man looked at him like he was. Jeremiah grinned-he knew it was a decent impression of his brother before the scars. 

“You’re here for little old me...how flattering! What a welcoming committee. Now-which one of you led this little...party?”

A man stepped forward-and Jeremiah slid the letter opener from his sleeve, easily taking the man down and disarming him and giving the police enough of a moment of surprise that they were able to get a few shots off and gain quick control of the situation. Jeremiah was pulled off of the first man, by another, and he swung around, knocking their legs out from under them and stabbing them in the shoulder with the letter opener, and he looked up after kicking a third woman and knocking her unconscious to see Bruce staring at him. He swallowed, standing and tossing the letter opener down. He was breathing a bit heavily and Bruce was still just...staring. Jeremiah approached him, suddenly shy. 

“Bruce? Are-are you alright? Were you hurt?”

“You...did that very easily.”

Jeremiah exhaled through his nose, and looked down. He felt bad for not telling Bruce this earlier, during the hostage situation on stage with Jerome. 

“I...one of the reasons I’d hired Ecco years ago was because-she taught me how to defend myself. I tried to prepare myself in every way for every eventuality.”

“On...stage, with Jerome-”

“I was faking, yes. I faltered on purpose, I thought-I thought if he was busy beating me, fighting me, then-you and the police would have more time to figure something out, and you could-try to escape. I’m-I told you I want to stop lying, but-”

“No, just-”

Bruce sighed, holding Jeremiah’s hands as the group of Jerome’s followers were taken into cells. 

“-I’m not...knowing that that’s why you did it, I’m not mad at you. I just...when you jumped into this, without-you didn’t say anything, and-I was worried-about your safety, and that-for a second-I didn’t know…”

“You weren’t sure if I was acting.”

Bruce nodded, and Jeremiah brought his hands up to his mouth, kissing Bruce’s fingers. He held Bruce’s hands tight to his face, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. 

“I’m sorry. I-I acted on instinct. I figured if they thought-again, I wanted to buy time.”

“I know that now, but-if this happens again, please-give me some kind of warning? Some way to know that you’re-”

“That I’m not turning out like Jerome?”

“That’s not how I would have phrased it, but essentially, yes.”

Jeremiah kissed Bruce’s fingers again. 

“Alright. I’ll-I’ll try. I want to try.”

“I know you do, love.”

Jim Gordon’s footsteps were distinct. Jeremiah had a good memory for what people’s individual footsteps sounded like, starting as a way to know when his mother or Jerome or their uncle or his mother’s lovers would come near him. 

“What was that about?”

Jeremiah didn’t let go of Bruce’s hands, but he did lower them away from his face. He looked to Jim, and Bruce pressed close to his side. 

“I...as I told Bruce, I acted on instinct. I wanted to buy you all some time, and-I knew I could get them to believe me for at least a moment.”

“You didn’t think to tell anyone that? We could have shot you!”

Jeremiah bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to lose his temper. He’d met a lot of people like Jim Gordon in his life. Overbearing, stubborn, unwilling to listen. They’d been the kind of people who pushed him even deeper into a life of seclusion and lies. He didn’t like Jim Gordon very much, and tried very hard to put aside any disdain because he knew Bruce cared for him. 

“I’ve already discussed with Bruce how to handle incidents in the future. I would-like it if you did not take that tone with me, Mister Gordon.”

He felt Bruce stiffen, and he squeezed Bruce’s hand in response. Jim looked somewhat furious, and noticed them holding hands. He frowned. 

“Are you two-”

“Yes.”

Bruce spoke up, unafraid to confront Jim. Jeremiah felt a little flutter in his stomach at that. 

“Bruce.”

“What?”

“May I speak to you privately?”

“If you have something to say about my relationship, Jim, I would think there’s enough respect between us that you would be willing to say it to me directly, with my partner next to me.”

“You’ve known each other for a week.”

“Eleven days, actually.”

Jeremiah’s comment probably hadn’t been needed, but he couldn’t help himself sometimes. Jim glared at him for a moment and Jeremiah glared right back. 

“I appreciate your concern, but trust me. I know Jeremiah better than you and I know that he’s a good, loving partner. Just because he looks like Jerome doesn’t mean that he’s the same as him. Not in the ways you’re worried about.”

Jim looked like he was about to say something else, but Harvey approached them. 

“What the hell was that, kid?”

“I-uh-”

“You had them hangin’ on every damn word! You ever been to acting classes?”

“Oh-uh, no, not anything formal, it’s...I supposed a holdover from the circus, and-a hobby?”

“You should look into doing more of that, you had all the cops believing you’d turned for a second-but that takedown was impressive. Thanks for the distraction.”

Jeremiah blinked, very confused by the entire interaction. 

“Thank you. Uh-thank you all for acting so quickly once I was able to get them distracted.”

“Eh, that shit’s our job.”

Harvey noticed Bruce and Jeremiah holding hands, and he grinned. 

“Hey, look at that! You two datin’ or something?”

Bruce laughed, and he squeezed Jeremiah’s hand. 

“Yes, we are.”   
“Aw, I remember being young and in the datin’ game. Hey, you take care of Bruce, alright? We all love that kid.”

“I’m twenty, Harvey. Not exactly a kid.”

“You’re gonna have eternal ‘kid’ status with me.”

Alfred cleared his throat. 

“Uh-if everyone is done here, it’s almost time for Bruce to get back to his studies.”

Jim coldly said goodbye and Harvey was genial, congratulating them on their relationship, and Jeremiah gathered up the box of Jerome’s belongings and followed Bruce and Alfred out to the car. The ride home was...not tense, but Bruce clearly recognized something was wrong. 

“Jeremiah? Love?”

“I don’t care for that man. Jim Gordon. I’m-sorry, I know he’s done a great deal for you and been very good to you-”

“I gathered, yes, but-I appreciate you restraining yourself with him.”

Jeremiah looked at Bruce, his brows furrowed. Bruce was just looking at him, with that same fond face. 

“I know he...irritates you. You tried to remain calm, and I know him questioning you so aggressively when you were trying to help was probably not endearing him to you.”

Jeremiah sighed, and leaned his head on Bruce’s shoulder. 

“Thank you. For understanding.”

Bruce kissed Jeremiah’s head, and Jeremiah cuddled against Bruce’s side. 

“Let’s have lunch when we get home. Maybe you can join me and Alfred for my training? Show off some of what you know.”

Jeremiah smiled and felt incredibly comfortable in Bruce’s arms. It hadn’t surprised him that Bruce was being trained in a myriad of fields, and he was supportive of it, knowing that Bruce needed to exert that sort of control over his life. 

“I’d-if you would like that, I will.”

“Of course. I want you to be a part of that part of my life.”

He held Jeremiah the rest of the way home, the two of them cuddled in the back seat. 

\---

“Now-here, you use this to line your lips-”

Selina was very close to his face, and Jeremiah was sure he’d think it was uncomfortable before his time with Bruce, but now...it was just nice. It didn’t feel strange and he didn’t feel awkward, even as Selina was dragging a stick of lip liner across his lips. He was trying not to fidget, though, and that was somewhat difficult. 

“And then you fill it in with lipstick. I brought a few colors, I didn’t know what you liked. I like more neutral and red shades.”

His eyes landed on a dark purple, and he grabbed it, handing it to Selina. 

“Ooh, dramatic. That really is your thing, huh?”

Jeremiah huffed. 

“I’m not that dramatic, Selina.”

“You kinda are, dude.”

Jeremiah rolled his eyes, but he did smile. They’d talked a little about what he wanted, but Selina had suggested starting with the basics, and they’d sat in Jeremiah’s room while Bruce was working on training and other things. Selina finished with the lipstick and handed Jeremiah a mirror. 

“Here. I think I did pretty damn good.”

Jeremiah looked at himself in the mirror, and his breath was sucked out of him. He reached up, touching at his now even slightly-paler face. His lips were dark, his skin was a smooth tone, with none of his freckles visible, and his eyebrows were filled in and dark, and his lashes were long and black. He stared at himself for a long minute. 

“Whoa, whoa, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Jeremiah looked away from the mirror at Selina, and he realized that yes, he was crying. 

“I-I didn’t realize-I was, I’m sorry-I just-”

He looked down at the sheets. 

“I’ve never felt like this. Looked like this-and I want to. I’ve wanted to for a long time, but-”

Jeremiah swallowed. He supposed his newfound resolution to stop lying had to extend to everyone, not just Bruce. 

“When-I was younger, my mother and her lover at the time caught me playing with her makeup. It-they reacted...unkindly.”

Selina chewed on her lip.    
“That really sucks, Jer.”

“...Yes, it does.”

It felt nice to have someone acknowledge that without trying to analyze it or break it down and make it explain his life. He knew all of that, he knew how his childhood influenced his actions as an adult, but very few people had ever just validated that yes. Life had sucked for a long time. He felt very lucky to have a partner and now, a friend, who understood what he needed and wanted. 

“Do you like it, though?”

“Yes, of course, I feel...it feels very right. You did an amazing job. T-thank you.”

“Bet Bruce is gonna love it.”

Jeremiah blushed, ducking his head down. Selina giggled, gently shoving his shoulder. 

“He’s gonna flip! He already thinks you’re the hottest guy on Earth-”

“Oh-stop, he does not.”

“I literally have a text from him saying that.”

Jeremiah laughed, but grabbed the mirror again, looking at himself. 

“Do you...do you really think he’ll like it?”

Selina sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder so both of them were in the mirror. 

“I think so. He really does care about you and he thinks you’re the hottest shit on the planet. Either way. I did a damn good job on you, he had better appreciate it.” 

Jeremiah smiled, and he liked how the dark lipstick made everything about him look brighter and more defined. 

“I’m sure he would never dare to cross you.”

“Damn right.”

There was a knock on the door, and Alfred popped his head in. He looked at them for a moment. 

“Miss Kyle, Jeremiah. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. Bruce is cleaning up at the moment.”

He smiled, his eyes as sharp as ever. 

“Jeremiah, may I say you look rather dashing this evening.”

“Thank you, Alfred.”

“We’ll be down in a little bit.”

Alfred left and Jeremiah turned to Selina. She had an interesting look on her face. 

“I have an idea.”

\---

“He’s gonna love it, calm down.”

“I just-are you sure? He wasn’t expecting this sort of...change.”

“God, Jer, trust me on this.”

“Aren’t you a well-known thief and criminal?”

“Yeah, but a trustworthy one!”

Jeremiah bit his lip and looked in the mirror. He did...like it, he-loved it, really, but he wanted Bruce to love it, too. 

“Come on, let’s go downstairs. He’s gonna love it. Swear to God.”

He’d allowed Selina to pick his outfit for dinner as well, and you could see her influence. He had always worn carefully tailored clothing-both because of sensory issues and because he liked to flatter his figure, even just for himself. This fulfilled both of those needs, and he did spend a few minutes looking in the full-length mirror in the bathroom, making sure he looked as perfect as possible, until Selina poked him in the side and told him they needed to get downstairs. 

Bruce was sitting at the actual dining table, which was set out with food, and he looked up, his eyes going wide. Jeremiah stood in the doorway, smiling and blushing and trying to remind himself that he could be confident here. He was safe and it was okay to be himself, his full self, here with Bruce. Bruce stood and came up to Jeremiah, taking both of his hands. 

“Wow.”

“I...Selina had some ideas about-trying new things.”

“I...I see that, you look...you look-”

Bruce shook his head, wordless and smiling. It made Jeremiah feel very, very good to be looked at like this. 

“-I don’t even have-words, Jeremiah, you’re stunning-”

“Do a little turn!”

Selina had already draped herself over her seat at the table, and Jeremiah did in fact do a little turn, letting Bruce see his entire outfit; tight, tight black pants, heeled boots-not too high, but it gave him another two inches of height-and a deep purple shirt that was equally as tight, but a little open in the front with slightly billowy sleeves. The most change came from the makeup and his hair, though; Selina had run out and gotten dye, changing it from his natural red to a deep, warm green. He’d never thought to dye his hair, but after seeing what it looked like colored and styled, and now seeing Bruce staring at it...he wished he’d done it-all of this-sooner. 

“I-I really like your hair.”

“Thank you, it-I’m very happy with it.”

Bruce reached up and cupped Jeremiah’s cheek. He leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, though Jeremiah had to lean down now, and Bruce spoke quietly. 

“I’m so-so happy that you’re doing this here, with me.”

“Bruce?”

“Being you. I’m happy that you’re being-the you that you want to be.”

Jeremiah gasped just slightly, and he gently cupped Bruce’s jaw in both hands, tilting Bruce’s head up to kiss him. He pulled back, smiling, and enjoyed that ever-more-familiar dazed look. 

“I wouldn’t be this if it wasn’t for you.”

“And my kickass makeup skills, hey-”

Bruce and Jeremiah laughed and held hands as they took their seats, and Alfred sat next to Selina, all of them enjoying dinner together, and Jeremiah feeling distinctly more loved and more at home than he’d ever felt before. 

\---

He still wasn’t willing to wear his more outlandish clothes outside of the manor for the most part. It was still too-well, it was terrifying. Jeremiah couldn’t convince himself that the rest of the world was safe yet, so he and Bruce (and Selina, and evidently some of Selina’s closest friends) were trying some minor exposure therapy with him. Now, that, he didn’t really mind, because he knew that even if others were around him, he was going to be surrounded by a group of people who wouldn’t mock him or hurt him.

Bruce was watching him from the bed, his eyes trained on Jeremiah as he looked in the mirror, swiping mascara over his eyelashes. 

“Have you decided what to wear?”

“Yes.”

“How was work today?”

Jeremiah sighed. He was, thankfully, able to do most of his work remotely from the manor-he really had no interest in working in an office all day, and Bruce had of course encouraged the board to let Jeremiah work remotely as an accessibility aspect. He was more comfortable creating his projects at the manor, with Bruce usually popping his head in. Unfortunately, he’d had to actually go to Wayne Enterprises that day, for three meetings, and it had been...stressful. 

It was kind of nice that no matter what happened that night on their outing, nothing would be as stressful and annoying as three different company meetings in one day. 

“It was...terrible. It wasn’t work so much as-listening to condescending idiots who think they know what they’re talking about.”

He turned to Bruce, smiling apologetically. 

“No offense to the company, of course.”

Bruce laughed. Jeremiah blushed; sometimes he was struck by how handsome Bruce was, and he was looking especially good tonight, in an all-black and very slick suit. 

“None taken. I don’t enjoy that part of the business either.”

Jeremiah went to his closet and started pulling out clothes, deciding to go with Bruce’s suit idea. His was navy and patterned with subtly raised flowers and skulls, with a deep red shirt, and an even darker red tie. Jeremiah had put on especially dramatic makeup, which Bruce had approved of; he’d really been so supportive and loving when it came to Jeremiah exploring his expression. And they’d had many talks about it since Jeremiah first told Bruce about wanting to explore, and every time, Bruce had...not necessarily understood, but Jeremiah didn’t need him to understand, not really. Jeremiah understood himself, he just needed Bruce to tell him that all that made up Jeremiah Valeska was okay and that he was safe. 

He finished dressing and pulled on the slightly-heeled black boots that Selina had gotten him. Bruce came to stand next to him in the full-length mirror. He wrapped one arm around Jeremiah’s waist, and Jeremiah smiled, pulling him close. Jeremiah laughed and lifted Bruce up, spinning him around until Bruce laughed, too. 

“Jeremiah-we have to get going-”

Bruce bit his lip and Jeremiah shifted his grip, until he was holding Bruce under his thighs-he was physically stronger than Bruce and Bruce seemed to enjoy that. A lot. A whole, whole lot. Jeremiah easily held Bruce up, and walked with him until he was pressed against the wall. Bruce wrapped his legs around Jeremiah’s waist, and Jeremiah used one hand to pin both of Bruce’s wrist to the wall. 

“I know. They can stand us being fashionably late.”

Jeremiah rolled his hips up against Bruce, and Bruce whimpered, squeezing his thighs around Jeremiah. He threw his head back and Jeremiah attacked at Bruce’s neck, sucking and kissing and biting it, leaving a trail of red marks and lipstick on Bruce’s pale skin. 

“F-fuck, Jeremiah! Please-oh-please!”

They still hadn’t had sex, after two months. Just more intense petting and touching and kissing, and on one notable occasion, some very sexually charged dancing. It was getting more difficult to stop himself, but they hadn’t discussed taking their sex life to that level yet, and they talked about everything before they did it; the incident at the police station had opened up a line of communication for them that they really needed. Bruce was more honest now, too, about everything in his life. Jeremiah truly did love him, and moreso whenever he learned more about him. 

Though in the two months that they’d been together, they’d essentially learned everything about one another. They spent all of their time talking and teaching each other and learning about each other and Jeremiah had never been this close with someone, but Bruce opened something up inside of him and made him want to be different. 

“Jeremiah-please-we-we have to-oh-oh-”

Jeremiah pulled away and licked his lips, knowing his lipstick was smeared. 

“We’ll continue this later, sweetheart.”

Bruce nodded and Jeremiah let his feet touch the ground, though he immediately grabbed Bruce’s chin with his free hand, the other still keeping Bruce’s wrists pinned, and he kissed him, holding him in place by those two points and exploring his mouth with his tongue. Bruce whimpered again and Jeremiah pulled away, smiling, as Bruce looked up at him under those thick, dark lashes. 

“O-okay, I’d-yes, please.”

Jeremiah’s smile turned into a little bit of a smirk, and he tilted Bruce’s chin up. 

“What a good boy. Come on. We can straighten ourselves out in the car.”

Bruce nodded, and he held Jeremiah’s gloved hand out to the car; Jeremiah had discovered that he liked wearing gloves. The plan was to go to Barbara’s night club, and it was a very accepting place, and Selina and Bruce both wanted Jeremiah to start expressing himself in public. Jeremiah carefully fixed his makeup in the car and made sure he was presentable. Bruce was once again watching him, and he grinned as they pulled up to the club. He pressed a kiss to Bruce’s cheek, making sure to leave a mark in his lipstick. 

The girls thought it was cute. 

Jeremiah was enjoying spending time with Selina and her friends. Barbara was...odd, and Tabitha had been unsure of him at first, which didn’t surprise him. She’d worked with Jerome, and Jerome left an impression on others. Ivy was interesting, and she and Jeremiah greatly enjoyed getting lost in conversation about science and having been incredibly repressed about their sexualities their entire lives. That was an experience he needed to bond with someone over, though he was intrigued by her own projects with plants. The idea of collaboration was brought up. 

Though he spent most of the evening staring at Bruce. 

He couldn’t help himself, his partner was so handsome and charming and Jeremiah had ended up on Bruce’s lap at one point, laughing and tossing his head back while drinking with Tabitha. Bruce’s hand was on his thigh, gently stroking and squeezing. He felt so...normal. Out for a night at a club with his partner and friends, drinking and relaxed and having a good time. He didn’t know that he could change to this with so little time, and the influence of others. There was still many things he felt like he was missing, but-those could be found, over time. 

For the moment, he was happy to press more kisses to Bruce’s cheek, at one point he and Barbara leaving twin lipstick marks on Bruce’s cheeks while Selina took a picture. 

\---

The tabloids were anticipated, and Jeremiah tried to push down the anxiety that surged through his body the first time he saw them. 

Alfred had had the news on while he and Jeremiah cleaned the kitchen-Jeremiah didn’t like not doing housework and helping-and there had been a story on the back end of the news, where they pointlessly covered the lives of the rich and famous, and had begun talking about ‘Bruce Wayne and his new beau’. There were pictures and videos of them, mostly from their night at the club, and Jeremiah, upon seeing himself on the screen, immediately fell into a panic. 

He didn’t realize that he’d fallen to his knees and begun hyperventilating, but he felt Alfred’s hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him. 

“Jeremiah-Jeremiah, come with me-”

He allowed himself to be led to the study and sat down on the couch, and he heard Alfred calling for Bruce, and then Alfred was gone for a moment and back and he pushed something cold into Jeremiah’s mouth. The sudden sensation yanked him out of his panic for a moment. 

“Ice cube, Master Jeremiah. Keep putting them in your mouth and letting them melt. Don’t chew on ‘em.”

He nodded, shaking, and Bruce came into the room. 

“Jeremiah? What happened?”

“Panic attack, Master Bruce. He saw you two on the news. Someone recorded you out and about at the nightclub, and elsewhere.”

“Oh, Jeremiah-”

Bruce sat next to him and held his hand, and Jeremiah shook it away. He didn’t not want Bruce with him, but he didn’t think he could be touched like that at the moment. It was, once he could break it down, a mix of things that had made him panic; being seen publicly with a man after living his entire life closeted, his activities being broadcast for the mass populace, being seen dressed more flamboyantly. He felt as though this would destroy the little reputation that he had built since Jerome’s passing. 

“Jeremiah? Jeremiah, love, you need to take your shirt off.”

Bruce was right; this wasn’t the first time Jeremiah had had a panic attack here and he couldn’t wear constrictive clothing while he was in this headspace. He put another ice cube in his mouth and started unbuttoning his shirt, Bruce helping and pulling it off of him. 

“Alfred, could you please go get a pen?”

It left them alone for a moment, and Jeremiah swallowed the water that was now in his mouth. 

“Will you let me know when you can speak?”

He nodded and Alfred brought him a pen so that he could click the top of it, and Bruce and Alfred waited with him until he was able to speak. 

“A-”

His voice cracked a little. 

“Alfred, could-you please get me a glass of water?”

“Right away.”

Jeremiah looked down at his hands. He didn’t really want to make eye contact with Bruce at the moment, both because of the panic and the burgeoning shame he felt. 

“I’m...I don’t-regret us being together.”   
Bruce was quiet. 

“I was...worried, that that was what set you off.”

“It’s not-it’s never you, Bruce, I love you, and-”

“Was it the invasion of privacy? Just being so widely seen?”

“Yes. And-it was many things. I was alone and locked away for so long, but-I don’t even go out often now, because-if people see me-”

“You’re worried they’ll assume you are, or are like, Jerome.”

“Yes, that, but...I also…”

Jeremiah sighed and scrubbed both hands over his face and through his hair. 

“I’m still-uncomfortable being-dressing the way that I like in a very public way. I try to forget all the times I was told that it was wrong, or-what my mother did to me when-”

He shook his head. 

“-I try to remember that it’s alright and safe. But it’s hard not to think that someone will want to hurt me. I’ve never-it wasn’t ever just Jerome that I was afraid of. He’s not the only reason I stayed in the bunker for so long. I was afraid of...all the violence I knew could happen to me because of who I am.”

He managed to turn his head and look at Bruce, who looked thoughtful, and upset. 

“I haven’t...experienced that, and-I feel-”

“Bad?”

“Yes. For not understanding.”

“Please don’t feel bad for not-having been through violence regarding your sexuality. I wouldn’t want you to think that that’s something you need to have gone through.”

“It just...occurs to me sometimes that I’m incredibly privileged, and I’ve tried to use that privilege for good, to make things better for others-but I know that you’ve been through so much, and-I want you to know that I take all of this very seriously.”

“I know you do. You’ve never acted-you’ve never indicated that you don’t take my experiences seriously or that you think that I’m exaggerated in my response to them. And-I don’t...dislike your or blame you for your privilege. You are trying to use it-you’re trying to understand your place in that privilege, and I admire that and love you for it.”

Bruce glanced up at him and smiled. 

“I love you, too, Jeremiah.”

That didn’t erase the panic or the other negative feelings he was having at the moment, but it did spread a little blossom of warmth through his chest. Alfred came back to the room with a glass of water and handed it to Jeremiah. He took a drink and being hydrated did help clear his mind, but he still felt on edge. 

“Jeremiah?”

“Yes?”

“I...I think you should still be you, when we’re out together.”

Jeremiah inhaled, not quite a sigh, but close to one. 

“I-that will be difficult.”

“I told you the day we met the only way to counteract terror is to stand up to it. I still believe that, even in this context. I don’t want us to hide-I don’t want you to hide anymore, but-if that’s what will make you feel safest, I would understand. I know that you may need that. Just-consider the other option?”

Jeremiah nodded, and held his hand out to Bruce. 

“I will consider it. I won’t-know, especially not now.”

“What can I do to help?”

He squeezed Bruce’s hand.

“Read to me?”

“Of course, love.”

\---

“Hey! Jeremiah!”   
Jeremiah turned to look at Harvey. He was at the police station, setting it up to have one of his power sources as a backup generator. There was a surprising amount of work involved, because the police station was just...incredibly run-down. Jeremiah was pretty sure he counted at least seventeen health code violations. He didn’t understand how people lived in this city. 

“Hello, Mister Bullock. How may I help you?”

“Heard you were here. Wanted to see how you’re doing.”

Jeremiah blinked up at him. 

“Oh. Um-I’m doing...alright. There are some issues with the station’s infrastructure that I’d like to address separately from the power source, but-I’ll have to talk to Mister Gordon about that.”

Harvey snorted. 

“Don’t talk to him with that look on your face. He’ll get an attitude.”

Jeremiah blushed and turned back to the building’s fuse box. 

“I am trying to be civil with him.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sure Bruce appreciates it.”

Harvey was quiet for a moment. 

“How are you two doing?”

“Bruce and I?”

“No, you and the Pope.”

Jeremiah huffed out a laugh as he replaced part of the fuse box. It was so outdated. Good Lord. No one should live in Gotham.

“We’re...doing well. I-he’s the first man I’ve really...properly dated. It’s-been surprising.”

“Surprising?”

“Yes, I mean-it’s been easier than I thought it would.”

“That just means you’re right for each other.”

Jeremiah blushed, unable to keep the smile off his face. Thinking about Bruce just made him happy. 

“You guys got any plans for Pride?”

Harvey leaned against the wall, and Jeremiah worked on the wiring of the fuse box. He hadn’t intended on fixing the entire thing, but, well. He supposed studying trades concurrently with his degrees was a good idea, because he was pretty sure he’d have to re-wire half the building at this point. 

He wondered why he was doing this for free.

“I...don’t believe so, no. I haven’t ever paid much attention to Pride celebrations.”

“You should come to some of them. They’re pretty fun.”

Jeremiah looked up at Harvey. 

“Are you...a regular attendee?”

“Yeah. Most years, I’ll go, usually do some fundraising and shit. Not a whole lot of guys like me here at the precinct.”

“Like you?”

Harvey grinned. 

“Yeah. I won’t say who, but there are a few other trans officers here. It’s nice. We all try to get together for Pride and hang out, get hammered, all that.”

“Oh. That sounds-very fun. I-”

Jeremiah swallowed and pushed his glasses back up his nose. 

“-I don’t have much experience with...a community, of any kind, not since the circus. I’d...like to become more involved. Maybe not directly, but-somehow.”

“We’d be happy to have you, kid.”

Jeremiah smiled up at Harvey. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem. How’s this going?”

“Absolutely terribly. This building is in shambles.”

“Tell that to the rest of Gotham. We’re doing pretty well off in comparison.”

“I miss my bunker.”

“Lucky bastard. Got to stay in a damn perfectly made maze while the rest of us are stuck in nightmare hell.”

\---

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted to explore jeremiah's compulsive lying and various other interesting little tidbits about him, plus the idea of him coming out of the closet and being his full self, but. you know. not driven absolutely batshit by his brother


End file.
